Would you judge me if I told you I enjoy my men a little dark and untameable? Yes, you read that right. I want strength and possession—at least for the book-husband. I like them all-consuming, rough but gentle, mean but kind. It sounds like a contradiction, but I can’t help it.
The book-baes turn up the heat in some of the most erotic ways. I’m reading and thinking, “Girl, allow that man to fuck you six ways from Sunday.” Eager to jump through the pages of the book and offer up my pussy, because if sis won’t, I for sure will. In that book, allowing him to fuck me until I’m sore. I swear it has to be studied how open I am with the idea of a fictional character, but I find most real-world men repulsive. I can’t tell you the last time one has gotten me wet without having to imagine something else.
Yet, here I am, soaked over a couple of sex scenes with this dangerous, psychopathic, possessive, obsessed man, ready to hand him coochie and everything else his heart desires. In one scene, child, the man openly admitted to being willing to take the pussy, and here my ass is, “Yes, take it.” I’m not going to lie, but those were some of the hottest scenes.
In reality, the idea of a man forcing himself on a woman is sickening. With my book-husbands (there are several), I’m rooting for the fucking me until I can’t even think straight. Slap my ass, pull my hair, spit in my mouth, and cum over my titties and lips. Oh, and yes, Papa, I’m willing to swallow.
I’m telling you something is seriously amiss, but I am who I am. And this little minx is living inside of me, waiting for the opportunity to come out to play. Though, I haven’t. There haven’t been any “safe spaces,” and none of my relationships have been comfortable enough for me to do that. I also don’t think every person deserves that part of you. I want to explore that portion of myself with a spouse. Someone who’s a security blanket for my vulnerability because if I can trust you with that, I can trust you with all of me.
Including the freak hoe lying dormant inside me, waiting for her time to shine.
I have my fingers crossed that I marry someone open to exploring all those sexual fantasies that are too taboo to discuss. Girl, honestly, I require a partner that’ll slut me out privately and respect me publically. Like, “Yes, Papa, I’m yo nasty bitch!”
Lol! Baby, I crack myself up, but I’m being raw and uncut. If you read the “About Us” page, you know this blog involves just that. We are not hiding our authentic selves over here. Therefore, my freak ass is who she is, and the more I post, the more you’ll know the real me. Anyway, this was just some unfiltered thinking I decided to share.
Until next time, remember there’s power in your silence and strength in your voice. Speak when guided, make it count, own your voice, and don’t allow others to silence you.
Oh, so she speaks!